Best Tweets For Trauma Survivors at Year End

Best Tweets For Trauma Survivors is another new regular feature (in addition to Favorite Tweetstuff, posted yesterday). I am setting up the mechanism by which I can more efficiently collect tweets for inclusion, and will source from a wider sampling than I present here in my first Best Tweets post.

My selections are entirely subjective, and I know it will never be possible to include every great resource tweeted. But I can try! I’ve personally read all tweeted links, and believe them to be of great value.

I only just joined Twitter in September, so these truly are end of year resources. I’m sure I’ve missed some terrific tweets, so please add your candidates for Best Tweets For Trauma Survivors in the comments.

EDIT TO ADD: I don’t know why the shortened URLs don’t show as hot links. (Any techie types who can help me out here?) If you copy and paste them, they will go where they are supposed to go.

Standalone Tweets

@MindfullyChange Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

@NoSocialAnxiety So, what, do you want to live your whole life trying to please other people?

@DeeLin76 “Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” ~ Mary Tyler Moore

@CarePathways We learn about the world outside us by reading, but we learn about the world inside by writing

@SarahEOlson2009 Time out! Everyone do this. The world would be so dazed. @Teresacooper ♥*♥*♥*♥ Love some one this Christmas *♥*♥*♥*♥

@toddkashdan 2010 wish- people resist being seduced & comforted by certainty, & challenge hardened beliefs

@CorinaHaaiga #MyWishFor2010 –> that no child dies from lack of love. “‘To die for lack of love is horrible. The asphyxia of the soul.” Victor Hugo

@dragonheartsong I have a daily reason to rejoice. I survived, escaped, and found my voice.

Linked Tweets

@SarahEOlson2009 Mindfulness: learn to approach anxiety rather than react to it. RT@MentalHelpNet Are You Wired to Worry?: http://bit.ly/1plexp

@StopItNow To survivors of childhood sexual abuse – make prevention a part of yr healing journey. Stop It Now!: http://bit.ly/2BCvk4

@realwarriors Has your hero recently come home? Tips for managing transition from war to home – http://bit.ly/49XrNR #veterans

@SarahEOlson2009 Therapy When There’s No Money, from @psychcentral http://bit.ly/5GneTj 11/09 and http://bit.ly/6bwFsZ 8/07, still timely.

@Kathy_B_from_AC To see over 100 articles & 1500 comments about Dissociative Disorders, DID, Trauma, Abuse, Surviving thru’ it… http://bit.ly/Sson0

@realwarriors Not really sure exactly what PTSD is, or what the symptoms might be? http://bit.ly/7lzR0n

@SarahEOlson2009 It really *is* all in my head. RT @realwarriors More evidence that PTSD alters brain function: http://bit.ly/4ShzVx

@Darkness2Light Seven Simple Steps to Keeping Your Child Safe From Sexual Abuse: http://bit.ly/7TYa73

@SarahEOlson2009 Good one: Avoid toxic people. RT @SurvivorNetwork Reading – 9 Holiday Depression Busters http://tinyurl.com/ydtvvk5

@SarahEOlson2009 Excellent resource http://ptsdcombat.blogspot.com/ for both returning combat vets and those who care about them. Thanks @PTSDCombat

@drkkolmes 10 New Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know. Updated summary. http://snurl.com/tpcqy

@Thriver: Holiday Survival Tips for Survivors: http://tinyurl.com/yc8yx6e

@PsychologyNow 10 Ways to Bring Christmas Cheer to a Friend in the Hospital for the Holidays http://bit.ly/6gljJC

@SurvivorNetwork All Out of Holiday Cheer? 10 Tips for Beating Holiday Depression http://tinyurl.com/ykwrcc2

@Mindful_Living Depression: 5 Steps to Prevent Relapse | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy http://bit.ly/1W8kWO

@JoannaPoppink “Triumphant Journey,” a free self guided workbook online to help you recover from an eating disorder. http://tinyurl.com/yayqsy7

@novicleftbehind Sexual Abuse & Eating Disorders | everyday psychology http://bit.ly/5bued5

@HealMyPTSD New blog post: PTSD Survivors Speak: Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You http://bit.ly/54H7TJ

@DarleneOuimet Ten Differences between living Broken and living Whole – http://shar.es/a94mY

@ericaogrady A new tradition for 2010 – #RadicalForgiveness. Here’s to Wiping The Year Clean: http://bit.ly/7CaYEh via @hankwasiak

 

Favorite TweetStuff At Year End

I’ll be making a Favorite TweetStuff post monthly going forward. I Favorite tweets that speak to me, and sometimes that I speak back to! Not necessarily related to mental health, but always inspiring. Feel free to add any tweets which are meaningful to you in the comments.

(My rally cry, and also my first tweet)
@SarahEOlson2009 Strengthen me by sympathizing with my strength, not my weakness. ~Amos Bronson Alcott~

(Have courage)
@stillsafe “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Anais Nin

(Surprise!)
@NoSocialAnxiety You want to be with someone caring, protective, & unconditionally loving. Make that person you.

(If you love cats, an 18 minute silent video about a cat family)
@MonicaTweeter The private life of a cat (try not to anthropomorphize this!) http://bit.ly/6DTFqm @ssanquist thought of you

(I crack myself up sometimes )
@SarahEOlson2009 Said to my mirror RT @lola_snow By accepting you as you are, I do not necessarily abandon all hope of your improving. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

(Go for it)
@vishara You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. ~Marianne Williamson

(Take a chance)
@HealMyPTSD New blog post: PTSD Survivors Speak: Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You http://bit.ly/54H7TJ

 

“Mind Over Body Phenomenon in MPD”

I just found this YouTube video entitled “Mind Over Body Phenomenon in Multiple Personality Disorder”, made by Dr. Laura De Giorgio of Deep Trance Now. It’s fascinating, and I already live most of this stuff.

It offers a few well-known names in the field to corroborate certain claims of phenomenon observed in their patients, but I wish the website or the video provided more references of substantiation. So often these phenomenon are dismissed as “anecdotal”, as if that makes them not real.

I’m embedding the video here because (1) it is fascinating; and (2) not knowing others have had these experiences makes you feel crazy when it happens to you, especially if you are newly or not yet diagnosed with DID/MPD. You’re not crazy, you’re just you being (all of) you.

I most notice this in myself with my vision. There are times when I read much better without my glasses than with — and they are meant to help me read. Also, I am left- and right-handed, but only to very specific tasks. I throw a ball right-handed; I iron left-handed. I write left-handed, but I must punch numbers on a phone or a calculator with my right hand. I hand-sew left-handed, and crochet right-handed. All of this comports with the habits and pastimes of different alters.

Have you experienced any of this type of phenomenon? Please share.

 

Blogging Hiatus Was For A Good Cause

Well, time does fly by, especially if you’re dissociative. But I actually remember most of the last month, so that’s not it.

I am oh-so-close to releasing the first draft of my new Dissociation Blog Showcase for which I donated all of my free blogging time (and then some) this last month. I have close to 100 blogs listed now, all authored by people who personally experience dissociation, and blog about its effect and impact on their lives.

Because it’s the area I know well and cherish, many of my first-draft blog selections are written by child abuse survivors. But there is a growing field of war veterans dealing with PTSD, including dissociation. We are more alike than one might initially believe. And we can all learn from each other. I will be adding many more dissociation-related blogs by war veterans to the Showcase in the future.

I have this quirky annoying habit of not being able to finish things. I want them to be “done” and “perfect”, neither of which is ever going to happen here. I have hundreds (sadly, more like thousands) of awe-inspiring blogs left to discover and add to the Showcase. I have Google alerts sending me new ones every day. I can hover over this project forever and it will never be “done”. There, I said it.

So this is the post before the post which will provide the link to my new Dissociation Blog Showcase. It’s coming, very soon. And if you want me to include your blog, drop me a note in the comments, or DM me on Twitter @SarahEOlson2009 or email me at sarah.e.olsonATgmailDOTcom .

 

Zero Tolerance Extreme

This is a disturbing story from last week that I keep coming back to. A Michigan father marched his 15 year old son to a vacant lot, made him strip naked, and shot him execution style upon learning the son had confessed to his mother about having sexual contact with his three year old half-sister.

No second chances.

The boy had told his mother that he knew it was wrong to touch the girl, but stated he had not taken his clothes off. His mother didn’t want to “sweep this under a rug”, so she called her husband to come home for a talk. He came home with a gun. The three year old was later examined at a hospital, and no evidence of rape or physical trauma was found.

But three year olds remember a lot. The mental trauma of molestation may not be visible, but it was registered somewhere inside. She may not have the words now to voice what happened, but beyond the fact of the molestation, at the very least she will grow up with more than a suspicion that both her brother and father left her life over something to do with her. Even if her family tries to shelter her from what happened, it’s received so much publicity that she is bound to hear about it at school someday, if not sooner.

The 15 year old, of course, should have never touched his half-sister, but he tried to do the right thing by telling his mother. She tried to do the right thing by telling her husband. The father broke that chain. I understand in some limited way why he did it, but I cannot condone it.

Over the years, I fantasized that someone somehow had stepped in and taken my primary abuser out long before he created my childhood nightmare. How many other children would have been spared by this one person’s non-existence? How would my life and my sister’s have been different? Would we have thrived? Would we have felt loved? Would my mother have been so punitive and disinterested in her younger children if she’d never met him? She had lots of issues all her own; he just magnified them.

It’s that little girl magical wish that I could just do it all over again, as if he never existed. If only.

Knowing what I know now, not only would it have done the world a noble service to rid itself of my abuser early on, but I would not have flinched or mourned if I’d learned later that he finally picked a fight with someone who could fight back and win. Hindsight provides that clarity. But we don’t know enough about this 15 year old boy to conclude that he merited death.

Even though this father permanently removed a perceived threat from his daughter’s life, and in his own way tried to protect her, his actions will haunt his family — and her — for the rest of their lives. I hope this little girl and her step mother (? I’m not sure if that’s the relationship) are able to adequately work through these issues over time with professional help. (Lots of time.) The boy’s actions were not going to be swept under the rug, and neither must the aftermath of this violence be swept away.

It’s sad, no matter how I look at it.

 

My Mom Is Different – DID KidLit

Only a few months ago, someone asked about a book that could help explain DID to your child. I knew such a book existed, but it was a dead-end at Amazon.

So I was delighted to find My Mom Is Different was preserved in .PDF format, and is available for free download at Sidran Institute. Sidran offers a range of books and other media related to trauma recovery, PTSD, and DID, and is an excellent resource.

With regard to My Mom Is Different, Sidran states:

This illustrated book for children is written from the point of view of the child of a multiple parent. It is an ideal vehicle with which to introduce the concept of multiplicity to the young children of newly diagnosed parents. Authored by a mother with MPD, My Mom Is Different addresses many of the concerns of such children; confusion about the parent’s relationship with a therapist (a relationship that many children find frightening); anger about hospitalization and fear of hospital visits; and the pain and disruption that a parent experiences when remembering past traumatic events (even though recovering memories is ultimately beneficial).

The tone of this book is hopeful, although it does not shy away from difficult subjects. For example, it addresses the longing of children of “different” parents to have “regular” parents, and their discomfort with discussing their parent’s situation with their friends. The book clearly explains to children what a “survivor” is, what an “alter” is, and how alters may behave.

My Mom Is Different will help parents, both those who are multiple and those who are not, talk effectively with their children about MPD, addressing how multiplicity works and how it may affect the feelings of the child. It discusses children’s fears that their dissociative parent no longer loves them or that the parent will go away and never come back. This book also deals with children’s embarrassment about a parent’s behavior, absences, bad days, and more.

Always positive, My Mom Is Different reinforces the idea that, even with the difficulties that dissociation may bring, a family with a multiple parent can be loving, supportive, and nurturing, and problems can be overcome.

Again, you can download for free the entire illustrated book in .PDF format here: My Mom Is Different.

Also new, and of note to anyone intrigued by The United States of Tara show on Showtime:

Sidran has been chosen by the Showtime Television Network to provide information and support to viewers and media concerning Dissociative Identity Disorder in connection with their program “The United States of Tara,” which premieres January 18.

To that end, Sidran has prepared a page of free DID Resources, along with links to the DID-related books and materials which they sell.

 

Time Is A Frustrating Concept

I’m working on a soon to launch project — at least I hope it’s soon — that is eating up a lot of free time, and which I used to justify not adding a new post here for a week. I am frustrated by how slow it’s moving, and by the fact that I fell into sleepy exhaustion last night, slept a full restful nine hours, and nothing got done while I was asleep!

It’s truly one of the perks of being DID. I used to get far more done in 24 hours, whether I was “consciously” aware of it or not. I had no “time management system” then, other than strident internal ones which often paid no mind to external issues. If they deemed a time imperative necessary, it got done.

I am no longer quite so obliviously controlled by internal agendas and forces. Once in awhile, sure. I still have people inside; but the ones who could stay up all night and act convincingly refreshed even before coffee seem to find these struggles amusing.

My issue with procrastination is not the culprit here. If anything, I am trying to do too many things at about the same time, which isn’t helpful. Multi-tasking sounds good until your neat and precise schedule gets flattened.

At least writing about the frustration is helping to clarify it some. . . . See? There art thou happy!*

(*Shakespeare’s genius of finding something good no matter what: The Friar tells Romeo after everybody’s dead, that at least Romeo is only banished! “There art thou happy!” Romeo didn’t get it, either.)

 

Twitter Lists Pros/Cons and Paranoia

I really like the new Twitter Lists function; I already created about 10 Lists. (Go to my Twitter profile, and you can see them in the right column.) I have a lot on my plate lately, and I need all the organization I can get. It’s going to take some fine-tuning, but worth the time.

Before the Lists were rolled out, I somehow got the impression that not only could you create Lists to see all the feeds within that List segregated from your main feed, but that you could then tweet things that would only be seen by that particular List. Alas, not so. If there’s a third party app that does this for PCs, I’d truly appreciate someone pointing me to it.

Meanwhile, I came to a flat stop in my Twitter List enchantment when contemplating a List for tweeps/peeps who self-describe as either a child abuse survivor or a person with DID/MPD. On the one hand, they did self-describe, publicly. Somewhere. On the other hand, I’ve always felt a keen sense of responsibility for maintaining any survivor’s privacy to the extent I am able. Any List designated as “public” can be seen by anyone, and can be one-click followed by anyone. For these groups, that gives me pause, with good reason.

Over the last 15 years on the Internet, I’ve been targeted by (1) a guy pretending to be DID so he could talk to real DID people “to help flesh out the character in his novel”, which was not disclosed till much time had passed; (2) several ethically-challenged therapists (and at least one therapist wannabe) who “wanted some experience” with a DID client, without actually being their therapist; and (3) far too many people who get a thrill out of harassing vulnerable people. Also, I don’t have the issue of fearing someone (like a former abuser) might figure out who I actually am behind an online alias — but many survivors do.

So it made me a bit queasy to so helpfully, voluntarily, publicly, aggregate survivors for anyone to see and, perhaps, exploit. (At least don’t make it easy.) And that is where the public vs. private choice for Twitter Lists shines. I’ve made my survivor Lists private, and only I can see them. Even the people on the private List can’t see that they are on it. I tested this.

This works for me. Have you thought about these issues when creating your own Twitter Lists? How are you handling it?

 

Lessons of a Camera

It’s strange. I come from a family of avid photographers, but it’s not my hobby. I’ve never paid much attention to the (almost toy) camera my hubby plays with, other than knowing it’s digital and you can see the results instantly on the computer. I never asked him to take pictures of anything, really, till we went back on the Autumn in New England circuit tour Sunday. Oy.

We found stunning trees, shimmering in bright sunlight, appearing to be on fire with vivid red, purple, orange, and yellow hues. Some trees still have green leaves as well, and create a kind of rainbow bouquet. Wish I had some pictures to share with you.

The little toy camera made every tree, regardless of how it actually looked, appear to be a solid muted boring brownish orange. Every. Freaking. Tree.

Lesson No. 1: Life is short, stressing about a toy camera is pretty silly. And the trees really were gorgeous.

Lesson No. 2: I actually want to take pictures with a grownup camera. I love the digital aspect, because I wasted a lot of film on the old cameras. That’s precisely what made me not pursue it as a hobby.

So, DH. Christmas is right around the corner ….

 

Autumn Leaves Are Calling

We drove around South of Boston last weekend, and the leaves were just beginning to get some color. Add one freaky October snowstorm, and it’s beginning to look gorgeous around here. Having spent most of my life in Los Angeles, I did not at all understand what the big deal was about “changing seasons” till I moved to Boston 15 years ago. I love this time of year!

The picture below is not from New England; it’s actually autumn in Kyoto, Japan — but I like it.

We’re going to take the South of Boston tour loop again this weekend, and I’m hoping to have some homegrown autumn goodness to share.